I was walking back to my car from the farmer’s market at Bixby Park and saw a small bouquet of flowers lying on the ground. The flowers were sandy and wilted and looked like they had been thrown down. But I was inspired. I picked up the flowers and brought them home, trimmed them and put them in water. Now they are a vibrant addition of color and inspiration in my kitchen.
Inspiration can come in the weirdest forms. The secret ingredient to staying inspired is to stay present. Take in each moment with your senses, notice people who are talking about what inspires you and move in that direction. When you find yourself surrounded by uninspiring people or places, look for the nugget of positive energy in that moment. Learn to run towards things instead of run away from others!
What is holding you back or sabotaging you from moving forward with your dreams and passions? I asked my friends and family this question about myself lately and braced myself for the feedback. It’s not easy hearing what people perceive your struggles to be!
But the answers were insightful and in alignment with what I saw as real obstacles. As I travel this journey of personal growth, I’m finding that knowing is a lot better than not knowing. If you can see and feel your emotional blocks, you can develop strategies around or through them. It is such a gift to have these conversations with others. After all, my loved ones see a side of me that I fail to notice when I look in the mirror.
I was inspired to write “Where Water Meets Rock” for so many reasons….but reason #1,562,345 is this: We can peacefully face obstacles within that hold us back from our truest nature. In fact, when we respond by sitting with our intense emotions and choose to act peacefully towards obstacles, an amazing thing happens. We are changed and transformed into a truer version of ourselves and our ability to experience gratitude is heightened.
Let me use the metaphor of rock and water. Let’s say that you are experiencing an obstacle of FEAR that is holding you back from applying to your DREAM JOB. In this example, let’s call fear the rock and applying for your dream job the water. You feel trapped, wanting to move forward like your true nature intends but unable to get around the fear…the fear of not being good enough, smart enough, qualified enough, “fill in the blank” enough.
Sit with that fear. Feel every textured surface of it’s being. Get to know this fear like an old friend who wants to protect you and spend all the time in the world with you. KNOW THE FEAR. After some time of sitting with this fear, you’ll notice that your true nature (to apply for your dream job) will slowly break away the obstacle. Your true nature might gush through the fear (a burst of confidence or an epiphany), or it might slowly seep through the cracks (talking to a friend who encourages you and you eventually take the steps necessary to apply). Eventually, your true nature will flow forth.
So how is this any different than just being handed your dream job without any fear? Sitting with your own fear allows you to intimately understand, connect with and appreciate your truest self (God, the Universe, Goddess, insert word for higher power here). Maybe this is a divine plan from the beginning? Fear exists to bring us back home? In addition, after developing this relationship with fear, you might decide to take a different path entirely. Your fear might be a messenger that whispers “this is a truer choice for you right now.”
When we develop a relationship with our obstacles, we are forever changed by them regardless of the action we ultimately take. Our obstacles become a part of us. The judgement of ‘good’ or ‘bad’ falls away and we are left clarified, fresh and new.
Namaste,
Chai
We’re starting the new year with a bang! Yesterday’s start to yet another anger management class was great! Most of our participants are women, are parents and are self-referred. We introduced “The Anger Roller Coaster” which get’s everyone in the mindfulness mindset. When you start to feel angry, your breathing and heart rate change. You hear yourself thinking and saying things that are very uncharacteristic of you. And then you end up doing/saying something that you might regret. We currently have 2 spots left for the class so feel free to join at any time!
Chai Benson, MS, MFT 