Am I neurodivergent?
More and more of my adult clients are reaching out to me, claiming “I think I have ADHD, ADD” or “I’m pretty sure I’m neurodivergent.” With access to 24/7 information in our pockets, more and more adults are doing extensive research on their symptoms and diagnosing themselves. From a therapist’s perspective, this is happening at such a rapid rate that it’s hard for me to keep up. Discussing this phenomenon with a lot of my colleagues, I’m hearing mixed opinions.
“You’re a therapist, just diagnosis them with ADHD or ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder)!”
“Neurodivergent is way for mentally ill adults to get a pass!”
“Why would an adult need an ADHD or ASD diagnosis? They’re not in school! They’re adults!”
While all of these conversations are swirling, I’ve become aware of my own ADHD and ASD symptoms. I’m questioning my parents neurodiversity and how many of their eccentric (and abusive) parenting strategies were actually symptoms that had gone on unaddressed, undiagnosed, and untreated. I am also asking myself the popular question “Am I neurodivergent?”
What is neurodivergent?
Let’s start answering this question with some other questions: What is neurodivergent? Why should I consider getting evaluated? How does one go about doing this? How will this change therapy for me? A Google search definition of neurodivergent is defined as: “differing in mental or neurological function from what is considered typical or normal (frequently used with reference to autistic spectrum disorders); not neurotypical.”Neurodivergence is a term originally attributed to the 1990s sociologist Judy Singer. It is a non-medical umbrella description of people with variation in their mental functions. Neurodiverse conditions include autism, dyspraxia, dyslexia, dyscalculia and ADHD, among others. (https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2022/10/explainer-neurodivergence-mental-health/)
The “others” that they speak of above, could also include PTSD (Post traumatic Stress Disorder) and other mental health disorders. If you’ve ever experienced trauma and PTSD symptoms, you will recognize that your brain works differently than many folks around you.
Many of my clients started labeling themselves as neurodivergent, or came to me identifying as neurodivergent for a few reasons:
Community (wanting to feel less alone and “othered”)
Validation (“is what I’m experiencing real?”)
Structure and direction (“what can I do about these symptoms that I’ve had for a long time?”)
If you think that you’re neurodiverse, and much of the research and communities created are fitting for you, you are absolutely neurodiverse! Congratulations? These are the reasons many people seek out answers about themselves and you are not alone! So why go any further and seek out a formal diagnosis?
Why should I get diagnosed?
There are probably as many answers to this question as there are people asking them, but with myself and my clients, here are some valid reasons to seek out a formal diagnosis from a psychiatrist or neuropsychologist (MD), or psychologist (PhD) (and here is a lovely video on the subject: https://adult-autism.health.harvard.edu/resources/getting-an-autism-diagnosis-as-an-adult/)
Medications/therapy/behavioral changes are not working for you in the same way they work for others
The need for disability support and services that would make your life easier
You need accommodations at work/school/groups that would allow you to be more effective
You want compassion for yourself, and validation that “I’m not just lazy/rigid/crazy/unloveable”
How do I go about getting formally evaluated?
When seeking a formal evaluation, there are a wide range of tools and systems that professionals will use to diagnosis you. The cost ranges wildly from hundreds ($200) to thousands of dollars ($6k) and the time it takes for these evaluations to be completed also range wildly. My advice to you, from one neurodiverse person to another, is to trust your gut. Do you like working with this person? Do they have the credentials necessary? Can you afford this evaluation? According to many of my clients, receiving a formal ADHD diagnoses is way more accessible than receiving an ASD diagnosis. For more information on seeking an ASD diagnosis as an adult, check out the Association for Autism and Neurodiversity’s website: https://aane.org/autism-info-faqs/autism-basics/diagnosis/
And now the million dollar question: How will this change therapy for me?
If you’re a client of mine right now, the short answer is: It won’t change a damn thing. As a queer sensitive, neurodiverse, and client-centered therapist, we will identify you as whatever pronouns, name and diagnoses that resonate for you. If you’ve experienced past trauma, we will consider EMDR as a mode of treatment and we will move at the pace that feels safe for you. If you have social anxiety, alcoholism or addiction (perhaps due to self-medicating your neurodiverse symptoms), we’ll collaborate on strategies to meet your goals. But receiving a formal diagnoses does help me better advocate for you when it comes to working with other systems (job, doctor, psychiatrist, family). A diagnosis might also give you a language to talk about yourself in a different way, and find compassion for yourself. Part of my journey of having more compassion for myself and to better work with my clients is to seek out more information, and possibly move on to get a PhD so that I can provide a thorough evaluation to clients who are seeking answers. This is a pop-culture phenomenon that is not going away and has opened up all kinds of questions.
Chai Benson, MS, MFT 
I want to share this with you. It fascinated me, and this post made me think of what you are talking about. Not to take away from it, but to add yet another possibility, at least spiritually…